You Appear to be Arguing that a Specific Piece of Political Messaging will be Unsuccessful because You, Personally, Find it Uncompelling.

Have you considered that this messaging wasn’t made for you?

You appear to be arguing that a specific piece of political messaging will be unsuccessful because you, personally, find it uncompelling.

Have you considered that this messaging wasn’t made for you? Have you entertained the idea that you might not be the target demographic for this particular argument? Do you even realize that, by posting about politics on Twitter.com, you’re already one of the most politically engaged people in America?

If you clicked on this article, your vote has already been fucking banked, my dude. You’ve already thought through which party you support. Regardless of what you might think, say, or post, there’s no way you’re actually undecided. If you’re reading these words right now, it’s a sure sign that the Democratic Party should never spend a single dime on trying to reach you ever again. Unless, of course, they’re asking you for money to reach actually undecided voters.

Have you thought about the fact that the US President is chosen by an Electoral College that functionally disempowers most Americans, meaning only the tipping-point voters in tipping-point States even matter for Presidential Elections? Have you considered that millions of dollars are being spent, right now, to convince the residents of a single exurban neighborhood outside of Atlanta that it’s good for the Department of Education to continue existing?

Are you a weed-addicted 28 year-old white guy working as a store clerk in a Cincinatti vape shop, named Trevor? Are you aware that Trevor is the tipping-point voter on abortion? You might think you get a say but due to badly-designed electoral institutions and large numbers of people cancelling out each other’s votes, it really comes down to Trevor.

Trevor gets to choose whether women get reproductive rights in America. When was the last time you thought about Trevor? There is a multi-billion dollar industry, supporting countless data analysts, consultants, speechwriters, and policy experts focused on getting Trevor’s attention. And you have the gall to think American Politicians are trying to win you over?

Where do you currently live? Odds are, you’re not living in one of the 30 or so House Districts that are actually competitive. Have you ever been to Iowa’s 1st Congressional District? Have you ever even fucking visited the city of Davenport, IA? A quarter of their local economy was dedicated to assembling historic film-loaded movie projectors; half of the town lost their job when the digital camera was invented and the Democratic Party has to convince them to give a shit about Trans Rights. Are you seriously language-policing them on your fucking pet-issue right now?

Are you a 35 - 45 year old housewife in suburban Madison, Wisconsin named Ashley? Ashley makes extra money to pay for her son’s football uniform by selling tupperware to her old high-school classmates on Facebook Messenger.

Ashley thinks the police should be nicer to Black People but she’s also worried her kid won’t get into the University of Wisconsin because “his slot will get taken by DEI admits.” She is the tipping point voter on Climate Change. Will America’s Environmental Protection Agency set the social cost of carbon at $6 per ton of C02 or $51? Ashley is the person that gets to decide that. The Democratic Party has to convince Ashley to vote for them before a third of Florida ends up underwater. What have you done today to help them get Ashley’s vote? Have you knocked any doors in Suburban Wisconsin recently? Or is it just posting on Twitter.com?

Do you really have the fucking nerve right now to tell me that Democrats should say X instead of Y? What, are you some sort of polling expert? You think you’re Nate fucking Silver over here? David “I call people on the phone” Shor? Maybe you think you’re some sort of magic normie whisperer?

Nah man, you’re an algorithm-addled politics junky, just like the rest of us. You probably listen to podcasts, don’t you? I bet you read the fucking news! Worse, you probably read fucking Politico! You haven’t been able to relate to a real undecided voter in years! You know too many facts!

Don’t you sling your messaging takes at me! Neither of us are normal - Admit now that you’ll never relate to the median voter again and maybe (MAYBE) I’ll listen to your dumb spiel about who should be FTC Chair or whatever bullshit it is that you think people will find convincing.

But don’t you dare try to convince me that your favorite policy plank just so happens to be the secret messaging answer that the Democratic Party has needed all this time. I don’t have time for that noise, Fucko the Clown! We’ve got an electoral college to win!